Adrianna 1-7-2011 Chemo Cafe – WE Made It ! 2011 !!

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Published on 01/07/2011 by Jason Schwartz

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Adrianna’s Chemo Cafe 2011 – January 7, 2011-Jason Schwartz passes the TV torch to Adrianna Grace.  Adrianna will begin a new stage in her life: enjoying different guests on her own show. She is earning her stripes right now. She is about two-thirds through her chemotherapy treatment for advanced stage ovarian cancer.

Summary & Transcript Below…

     Introduction and Redefinition of Beauty
Adriana begins by reflecting on her evolving sense of beauty through her cancer journey. She expresses feeling “like me,” emphasizing authenticity over conventional beauty standards. This shift represents a profound insight: beauty is no longer about outward appearance but about “being-ful” — a state of fullness and presence within oneself. She contrasts her past identity, shaped by external attractiveness and physical traits like long hair and a curvaceous body, with her current state, where internal beauty and essence are paramount. Adriana discusses how the cancer experience strips away superficial layers, allowing her to appreciate deeper beauty both inside and out. She highlights that while the ego may cling to external beauty, true contentment comes from inner acceptance and radiating one’s essence. The conversation also touches on the idea that beauty is what you are, not just what you do, reinforcing the concept of authentic self-expression over societal masks.

  • [03:50 → 07:49] Creative Aspirations and Personal Freedom Post-Loss
    Adriana shares her excitement about future creative projects, including writing for Maui Vision magazine and compiling essays. She looks forward to a post-cancer life filled with creative expression, teaching, and outreach. A significant emotional milestone is the passing of her mother, which has lifted internal restrictions and fears that previously inhibited her openness—especially around intimate topics like relationships and sexuality. The loss symbolizes a newfound freedom, likened to releasing an “emergency brake,” enabling Adriana to shine her light without self-censorship. The dialogue reflects a shift from external judgments to inner growth and healing, portraying this phase as a fresh start with expansive possibilities.
  • [07:49 → 13:47] Current Treatment Status and Daily Life Realities
    Adriana is midway through her chemotherapy regimen, with several treatments remaining before remission. She describes the immediate physical effects of chemo, such as fatigue following sessions, and shares her coping strategies, including wearing a cozy sleeping cap to manage coldness from hair loss. She candidly acknowledges the emotional challenges of identity shifts, comparing her current appearance to that of her elderly father—bald and without makeup—contrasting sharply with her former image. Despite these difficulties, Adriana embraces the transformative nature of illness as a form of spiritual awakening. She also touches on the support system in her life, including visits from loved ones and a close male friend who provides unconditional love and affirmation regardless of her appearance, which reassures her sense of self-worth and attractiveness beyond physical beauty.
  • [13:47 → 16:38] Vision for Future Work and Health Retreats
    Looking forward, Adriana envisions expanding her role from hands-on health practitioner to educator and retreat host. With certification as a colon hydrotherapist and holistic health educator, she intends to leverage her experience in wellness and healing to create private health retreats at her home. These retreats would integrate bodywork, nutrition education, and access to amenities like an infrared sauna with ozone and a nearby pool. She plans to welcome people from the mainland for week-long retreats focused on holistic health, combining education, therapy, and rejuvenation in a supportive environment. Adriana emphasizes that these plans will commence only once she is fully recovered and able to offer her full energy and care to participants.
  • [16:38 → 22:28] Financial Needs and Community Support
    Adriana openly discusses the financial realities of her treatment and healing process. She outlines her current monthly budget needs of approximately $2,500 to $3,000, covering uncovered supplements and treatments. With reduced funds available, she appeals to her community for support, explaining that even small donations (e.g., $10 from a thousand people) could significantly ease her financial burden during the remaining months of chemotherapy and recovery. This candid request for help is framed as a necessary part of her journey—shifting from giving to receiving—and grounded in humility and trust. She also provides clear instructions on how to donate through a nonprofit organization, DoorwayIntoLight.org, assuring transparency and accountability. Adriana connects this support not only to her personal healing but to her ongoing mission to serve humanity through her work.
  • [22:28 → 26:49] Emotional Honesty and Future Identity
    Adriana expresses gratitude for the outpouring of love and admiration from her viewers and supporters, acknowledging the vulnerability involved in sharing such a personal journey publicly. She notes how the process of chemotherapy remains invasive and emotionally taxing, confronting her daily with the reality of illness. Despite this, she embraces the challenge with resilience and openness. She discusses the slow but encouraging signs of recovery, including hair regrowth, and anticipates reclaiming her identity as a glamorous, expressive woman who enjoys adornments like jewelry and makeup. This reclamation symbolizes a powerful reclaiming of self beyond illness. Adriana also anticipates a shift toward more public roles such as speaking engagements and writing, using her “cancer credential” as a source of credibility and empowerment. She views her survival as a form of earned wisdom that will inspire both herself and others.
  • [26:49 → 30:43] Transitioning the Chemo Cafe and Mental Health
    The conversation turns to the future of the Chemo Cafe program, with plans to introduce guest hosts and gradually transition to a broader platform centered around Adriana’s evolving identity beyond chemo treatment. This signals a shift from a survival narrative to one of thriving and blossoming. Adriana reflects on the emotional and psychological progress she has made, aided by a prescribed antidepressant (Wellbutrin) which helps alleviate some depressive symptoms and increase motivation. She describes newfound energy and ability to manage simple tasks, marking a significant improvement in quality of life. The dialogue closes with expressions of gratitude and love, highlighting the supportive community surrounding her. Adriana also offers a glimpse of the beautiful Maui surroundings, emphasizing the healing power of place and nature in her journey.
  • [30:43 → 31:10] Closing with Gratitude and Connection to Nature
    The final moments capture Adriana and Jason sharing a view of the West Maui Mountains and the ocean, symbolizing hope, beauty, and continuity despite adversity. The natural landscape serves as a metaphor for Adriana’s ongoing healing and growth, reinforcing the themes of resilience and transformation threaded throughout the conversation. The closing leaves viewers with a sense of peace, connection, and anticipation for what lies ahead.

This detailed summary captures the emotional depth, personal transformation, and practical realities of Adriana’s journey through cancer treatment as documented in the transcript, organized according to the flow and thematic structure of the conversation.

00:04
You look beautiful, how do you feel? Okay. Feel beautiful? You know, I feel, um, like me. That’s the best way to feel. I can’t… It’s hard, you know, beauty… What I like about it is my version of what I think is beautiful is just changing. And so it’s like being-ful rather than beautiful is the lesson I’m learning through this. Wow. That’s a profound thing to be sharing.

00:32
Well, maybe that’s a good way to start. Welcome everyone to Adriana’s Chemo Cafe. We’ve been journeying together for about 16 weeks or so and it’s just been amazing and I’ve loved the process and so much enjoying this. It’s a bright spot in my week to look forward to broadcasting because in contrast to a lot of my life, which is about resting and collecting my energy and laying low for the healing process,

01:00
and for the pneumonia process that was, but it gives me a way of reaching out to the world and doing what I love to do, which is serving, and the idea of connecting, and the idea of making a difference in someone’s life through my active, you know, intention. It’s been my heart’s desire for a long time, so I’m really enjoying that. Let’s welcome Jason here, Jason Schwartz. Hello.

01:27
trustee, not only cameraman, but anchor of this program. He’s going to fix the camera. He’s going to get it up a little bit. So there’s a lot I can say about beauty because I was associated with that. People thought I was attractive somehow and, you know, I had the long flowing hair and the curvaceous body and, you know, got by on that for a long time as well as my gifts. But, you know, with this cancer process, it’s

01:55
allowed me to get down to bare bones, actually, though, funny enough, it’s like I didn’t get super skinny through the process because I’m not throwing up all the time. I was blessed by not having all that nausea. That’s a good thing. I know, I know. So, but I thought, you know, lose 20 pounds, look great. But, you know, that’ll come. What I understand about beauty now is that the externals are so much less important than if I can sit inside of myself

02:25
and look out and appreciate the beauty, I can drink that in as food. But for myself as having to be beautiful anymore, even though my ego wants it, I don’t need to be anymore somehow for me to feel okay about myself. That was one of the things I guess. Beauty. We know you still are beautiful.

02:52
I was listening this morning to a Charlie Thweatt song on the way. I’d gotten to see him recently. And he was talking about, you think it’s what you do is why they love you. It’s what you are. That’s what you’re talking about. Beauty is. And we can paint on a mask of beauty. And that has its place. And that’s fun and attractive. But the essence of what is beautiful…

03:22
is beautiful. And that’s what you’re feeling. You’re feeling your essence. So, you know, the growth that comes from something like this has so many aspects. And that’s what I see in you. You’re starting to blossom and realize what is beautiful. It’s the irradiating beauty. So, coin the new term, beatiful. Beatiful. Beatiful. Be-a-full, maybe, or something like that. Being full. And being full. Well, that’s good.

03:50
I think it is. So maybe there’s a song in there. Maybe there’s an essay in there. You know, there’s certainly an article. I owe the Maui Vision one. You know, we’re a deadline this weekend. So my goal’s been for the past couple of years to be a contributing author, writer for the Maui Vision magazine. And I’ve been pretty successful. I’ve been in every issue but two. And so…

04:17
I love that. My identity as a writer is inwardly very important to me. And I’m looking forward to compiling some things. And when we think about this year, once I get cancer-free remission status, it’s looking ahead at what I want to be doing. So that’s also part of what’s inside of me right now, what’s alive inside of me, is both the

04:46
fear of it, the coping with thoughts about what can I do anymore, you know, I’m not my same self as I was, but there’s an excitement brewing in me as well about the creativity and this idea that, okay, I’m alive, I didn’t die, so the will of life and the life force is flowing through me by divine

05:15
the divine yes. So I’m going to be that and I’m going to take this and be more in a way like push it out a bit so that where I was afraid to shine my light before, I will and then I’ll see what happens. But I won’t be stopping myself so much anymore because of the fears that I had before. Including the fear that if I really come out and talk about relationship and sexuality and people’s

05:45
innermost stuff that while my mom was alive I felt like I couldn’t do it. I was inhibited, I was afraid of her judgment and mom had a big power over me and so there was a fear like you can’t do this because. So now she lifted off the planet November 21st. And so what’s

06:08
The story that I ran about I can’t do it while my mom’s alive even isn’t here anymore. Because she’s not in that form. She’s in a heaven’s world. Hopefully she’s cheering me on and sees me even more than she did before in a different light. But I love that freedom of restriction of my own internal parking brake. Or like I took the emergency brake.

06:38
You know, it’s off. Well, you know, it’s… You know, I have these funny views here, but I think that… people look…
06:50
from the outside, like you were talking. Beauty is what you see and we make judgments this way. And now you’re beginning to expand from inside out. Creates a really pure, good world where now you’re able to see the things you did before in a very much lighter way. And things are going to be better. It’s like a fresh new start. Mom and the restrictions that came from mom and all that. I had a mom and restrictions that came from mom too. I think we all did.

07:20
Right, those guys, now we all know. So now is freshness, and you are, you know, the thing that I see in you is, I think we were talking about it, you didn’t hear it, but you’re two-thirds of the way through. Yeah, that’s right. I’ve been counting kind of funny, and I have three more rounds to go of three, of which I’ve had, yesterday I had my very strong dose of chemo. Every third week I do. And yeah, so we counted it, and so I have eight more

07:49
chemotherapy treatments to go before I go into a remission process. And, you know, they’ll scan me and make sure I’m okay. I think I will be. So I’ll have two months of recuperation and recovery before I go into, you know, more of a, you know, like in the fall, you know, putting out the writing and the teaching and, you know, joining the National… What she’s saying is she gets time to recuperate, but has gone, we’re going to get you through the chemo part where you get into

08:21
rebuilding of your system, which is good. Exactly. So I feel okay today even, you know, with having the chemo, but after this I’ll probably lay down for half of the day. So what I decided when I was getting ready today is that I would, you know, just be, you know, the way that I am more or less when I wake up. I have a sleeping cap that I wear to keep my head warm.

08:47
It’s very cute and cozy, and I need it, because the top of my head gets cold. But my kepala, as they say in Yiddish. But I just wanted to do this program today just like that, just even just to give you a little window into my life and imagine how that feels to me. Sometimes it is really a little upsetting, because like I was saying,

09:14
saying maybe before in one of the episodes that I look more like my elderly dad who was bald with glasses and of course no makeup and kind of plain as opposed to the, you know, ravishing woman or, you know, the mom that my mom was. It’s like, you know, so it’s disturbing to myself.

09:41
identity, but that’s what’s so disconcertingly awakening about this process. And this kind of, if you will, the enlightenment process through illness is quite profound. It’s something I hope to be writing about. And sharing with you about. I mean, I really think we could set this camera up here permanently and we could

10:06
You think once a day is too much? Well, no, because… But you begin a video journal. Here we are in this new year. I think it’s time. Well, you know, then we can always just edit it down to, you know, the golden nuggets kind of thing. Or your book. The best of. Yeah. Well, I think it’s good. And, you know, these flip phones are actually now like under $200. I mean, the flip video things, it’s…

10:31
on my wants list, but it’s something I should probably get, although I so appreciate you being here to film me. I’d like a flip phone, too. You know, it’s like, you see me with my phone. No, the flip camera, so we don’t need the big… But I’m saying, you know, no one really needs a big camera unless they’re, you know, shooting for NBC. NBC, please pick this up. There you go. When they pick it up, we’ll all be doing good. Then someone will be on camera all the time, and we won’t have to worry about it.

10:56
Yeah. That’s a good goal, isn’t it? The new reality show. NBC? Do we want NBC? I don’t know. I’m not sure. Jay Leno doesn’t like them very much. He makes jokes about them all the time. Well, maybe we can help bring them to a new level of understanding. Oh, gosh. Well, you know, I’m happy for any network broadcasting right now. And that would be just fine. So this year of 2011 that we’re just now winking into is a fabulous year.

11:25
just has such new energy, and it’s just different. It’s really, really different. So even from this position of kind of serious illness, recovering, and then waking up to the new, I feel like there’s a lot of good to be had. And I’m getting ready for that. You have some writings to read for us? No, these are just more notes of things I wanted to make sure that I…

11:54
yeah i didn’t really have a guided writing at this time but you know we missed the christmas season what’d you do for christmas um and the whole season what have you been doing mostly home um yeah i’m i’m more in that um inward um self-healing mode so i’ve been advised to stay home to uh reduce my exposure to germs and you know airborne stuff and so i um gather most of my energy

12:24
most of the day and then try and get out for some exercise. You know, my life force is a little better now, so I do that. And people have been coming over and helping me with things and that’s been nice. And the man that I see keeps me company and he’s my, you know, just favorite kind of male friend, lover.

12:49
cook, happy, you know, influence. Never mind, you’re good. Well, you know, it’s nice to have that in life and especially, you know, through this process that I’ve been in of, you know, redefining attractiveness and all of that and self-worth through more than the beauty. Not that I was just all about that, but, you know, that aspect of it. It’s like, because he’s known me all the way along and

13:19
love me unconditionally even looking like this it’s okay for him he sees me he loves me and he’s still attracted to me and that’s so affirming to me it’s very comforting to have that kind of energy in life and i feel like he’s such a dear soul in my life and although he won’t be the one that i partner with as i can see i’m thinking that as i get through this period and become well again that it’ll be fun to imagine

13:47
you know, another mate and life and the fun that that can be. So when I feel good, sometimes I can envision that in my future and enjoy that idea. So I guess I’m talking about visions and dreams and future and goals, and that’s what I kind of wanted to bring forward in this Kima Café for the first one of the new year to

14:17
um, share with all of you what, um, what lies ahead. And what I’ve been as a certified colon hydrotherapist and holistic health educator for all of these years has been dramatically good, always feeling, um, right livelihood from the time I was 24. Going into that and what it gave me being a health professional.

14:44
I think I’m definitely going to take a lot of the best aspects of that and bring them forward in my educational work, but see myself in a way more as an educator than a hands-on therapist, though I still feel when I’m in private session with people, my truest, deepest, best self comes out and my soul is in its right place delivering this deep,

15:13
counseling and support and the intimacy of a person feeling that they can reveal their innermost thoughts, feelings, emotions, letting go of what isn’t working and opening up to what is. How long are your sessions? Well, it depends what kind they are, you see. It goes for an hour to two hours typically. And so I won’t be doing really the

15:41
colon hydrotherapy myself i’ll be doing the pre you know bringing a person in and assessing health networking them to the different people places and things that will be helpful and one of the things that became clear to me is that i’d like to take people from the mainland and come over and do private retreats and potentially even turn this house into a guest house for them so that you know for

16:09
Say they come over for $1,000 for the week, and we can provide their food and education about food preparation. I’ve got a gorgeous bedroom that will work for a couple just fine, and even if they have a child. But I think it’s great to retreat here. And I’ve got very private grounds, and it’s a lovely place. So bringing the body work. I now have an infrared sauna with ozone right on the property.

16:38
And I have a colon hydrotherapy system I’m about to hook up at the Rebounder. I have a wonderful pool just a few blocks away. So I actually have what it would take to do health retreats for people, and that’s what I envision. You guys know AdrianaGrace at gmail.com, right? If you have any interest, send her a line. Come on over, and I’ll promise I’ll take really incredible care of you.

17:06
And it’s not just me, it’ll be other people and it won’t be until I’m well so nobody has to worry about taking life energy away from me or that could I do it or not. I’ll wait until I’ve built up. That’s part of what this time is so I get a little emotional about this. I still have two months to go with the chemo and it’s not exactly scary but it’s every time it’s like I wish it wasn’t happening anymore.

17:36
So I just want to say that, because that’s what’s true. And I don’t like it, but there are angels over there, and everything is great, but you know, when they swap me, and they put the needles in to take my blood, and then they put this intravenous needle in, and then they hook me up to everything. It’s just very…

17:59
Invasive. It’s really happening. It’s like very, it’s an inner, it’s a confront of what’s actually going on as opposed to the getting over that through the week. So, I don’t know, it just feels… Well, it’s almost over. I mean, you may have to…
18:23
Well, it is, but I guess what I’m saying is these two months, it’s like I’m in the belly of it. Of course. And it’s good to acknowledge where I am, and I like it that I’m looking forward. But I guess it is just that vulnerability of I am a patient. I am myself, but I am a patient. I am in this healing oasis that I am about summoning all…

18:52
the resources available to really heal through this. Because it’s not something I can take for granted. Even getting over this, you know, everybody can say, oh, you’re going to make it and you look great and, you know, I just know it. But, you know, it’s not a done deal. And so I live with that. And so my intention, my life, everything has to actually point towards what am I doing now to

19:22
support that i am actually healing through this and getting rid of my cancer cells so that’s a sobering thing so in this year it’s also about eating more of the right kind of vegetables getting more juices and wheatgrass and you know kind of the wheat sugar dairy i wasn’t having a lot of it but the treat foods

19:49
I feel like it’s a line of demarcation for me of what I can do in my best integrity. And especially once the chemo is over, leading a cancer-free life is also kind of living an anti-cancer lifestyle. But is it cancer-free to go towards the positive on that? But in a sense, I have to be even more careful and even more like super about health.

20:14
Which is kind of a good thing. Which is good. I mean, there’s restriction that goes along with that, but I mean, that’s part of, you know, personal integrity and, you know, what’s more important. And I think if anything ever taught me that in my life, it wasn’t just the excitement of doing natural things that were preventive as a lifestyle. And I’ve loved that. And I think that’s why I’ve stayed healthy through my cancer.

20:41
as opposed to already having a super weakened system. But now it’s really about, you know, if I’m choosing to stay alive, I’m choosing to really be in the habits and the methods. I don’t know. I’m talking a lot today. Is that okay? Is that okay? I guess that’s what I’m supposed to do. We’ll ask them.

21:02
Send your comments to adrianagrace at gmail.com. adrianagrace.com is your page. If they want to send you money, if you want to send money to Adriana, now is good. doorwayoflight.org doorwayintolight.org It’s 501c3, and if you send them an email and say, I just sent Adriana money into your account, they’ll work it out, right? You’ll see it on the screen, but basically you press the donate button

21:31
at the DoorwayIntoLight.org. But then what you do is just do a quick email follow-up saying, I’ve just sent money in the amount of this earmarked for Adriana Grace. And you do that to Bodhi, B-O-D-H-I at IPUKA, P-U-K-A dot com. There you go.
21:59
Bodhi at iPuka.com and that’s a good thing. He’s a good guy and that’s a great way to get money to you and you got a tax to pay. So, and the other thing that was actually kind of fun, we were looking at money the other day and I’m bare bones $2,500 is what I need to kind of support but really $3,000 because I need about $500 extra for the supplements and the healing treatments that are uncovered by insurance.

22:28
And in the beginning, I was doing a lot of that because the funds were a little bit looser, easier. Now they’ve been cut back, so I still need more contributions right now. I’ve got like two to four more months of absolute needing, and then I’ll be able to really be about generating myself. I’m also seeing a few clients here and there for counseling and rebirthing. A little bit of energy for that. But if a thousand people would send $10…

22:58
you know, that’s $10,000 that gets me through, you know, several months, you know, so that would be really great. So, self-conscious to ask for funds, but what I really decided is that, you know, this time is about receiving for me and taking a break from giving, because I love to give, but somehow it’s a rebalancing and it’s humbling and I guess I need that in a way.

23:25
So there’s that, but it’s also my life is and will be dedicated to the betterment of humanity, you know, individually with people and as a greater whole. So because of that, when a person gives money to me, I also feel I can receive it on behalf of humanity because that’s what I’ll be touching through my life staying alive. You know.

23:56
Well, you know, everyone that’s watching this loves you, right? And you have been giving so much. I’ve had people call me and say, she is such a brave woman. How can she share this when it’s so personal? It’s a very big gift you give all of us. This process you’re going through is a very personal one. And we love you and support you, right?

24:21
Let us know, adrianagrace at gmail.com. Oh, thank you. Be in touch with us. We want to know that you out there in chemo are in touch with us. They do. People write on my Facebook page. I get comments when you watch my video. So you can definitely, you know, Adriana Grace is my Facebook name, so you can also contact me through there. Yeah.

24:52
I just want to see if there’s anything else that I want to share here. This is good. I don’t know what else there is. I think we’re good. I must say your hair is growing. Do you know that? Yeah, of course. But my hair isn’t really growing. This is just like chemo hair. It’s like baby fine. Oh.

25:21
But it will be, you know, growing again. And that will be interesting. They do say oftentimes it comes back more full and lustrous and beautiful. So who knows about that? You’ll be lustrous. I’m sure I’ll be a glamour girl once again just because I love the adornments. You know, it’s really fun. The jewelry, the makeup, the dresses. It’s like I love all that. Girly stuff. Very girly. And it’s a…

25:50
It’s a true expression of who I am, just like cooking, just like healing. But I just love this idea of what I’m going to do next that isn’t just about being a practitioner, but I see the speaking aspect coming through much stronger. And the writing and kind of going on book tours or having my book to go along with the speaking engagements that I do.

26:20
this cancer credential, as you will, gives a lot of gravitas. Is that the right word? Works for me. You know, I mean… A lot of grounding, huh? Yeah, I mean, you know, when you have a background in that, it’s like having a PhD in going through it and getting through it and surviving. It’s like, what did somebody have to do to actually be a survivor?

26:49
So that’s powerful. And I certainly do feel that. And so it’s going to be really fun to come from the confidence that I feel from what I have to stand upon through all of my background before and the intensity of this experience and getting through it. And then what I do with that, it’s like I will inspire others

27:20
I will inspire myself. On that note… On that note, we’re going to end, but I’m going to take a nice close-up, and you’re going to have the beautiful smile of Adriana. Thank you for letting me join you here.
27:34
Thank you. You’re welcome. We’re going to get guest hosts here with Adriana, and you’ll say, oh, where’s Jason? Jason will be around, but we’re going to get other people involved in this chemo cafe so Adriana can take full stage and presence as the hostess. I think you’re going to be blossoming. That’s what you’re talking about. Well, guest presenters, you say, so what that means is I’ll actually kind of be interviewing people

28:02
You can still have people on, whoever you want. We can still do this. Well, I mean, we’ve done it before. It’s just that the Chemo Cafe will take more of an Adriana direction than adjacent an Adriana direction. Because, as you know, I’ve been doing TV shows, and I’m doing these now with you for however many weeks it is, and we’re still doing them. But the direction that is you is going to come out through this. So this is the doorway. This is your doorway. Yeah.

28:27
Well, after a couple months, we’re going to have to just call it Adriana’s Cafe, you know, or something like that, because it’s not about the chemo anymore after eight weeks. That’s a very exciting prospect. And I like the fact that you’ve really come to terms with the fact that you’re living…

28:43
You always were in that mode, but now you really, I can sense in you, you really are more aware of what’s going on around you because you’re past the fighting initial burst. You’re still fighting, but I’m only going to bring it to, like I had a staph infection, and I can still sense it’s in me.

29:03
But I’ve gotten past that where it was high red, arching, staff. So when you were in early stage, it was a different emotional feeling. So I can sense in you a feeling of living and moving forward. It’s a spirit of fighting that really, you know, I can… Fighting in a good way, you know, really. You’re coming out of your flower, like a flower that’s coming out of its…

29:26
You know, they say when you help a flower, you’re coming out of this flower yourself. You’re breaking through like a butterfly, you know, when you were a caterpillar. It’s coming. I got over the hump, it feels like, in a way. I have definitely made a shift. I can feel that, too. And I have to say, you know, my physician recommended that I go on really light antidepressant, the Welbutrin. It’s about three weeks now, you know, so it’s kind of kicking in as well, so I’m

29:54
less kind of morose and depressed, unable to do more things for myself, that I didn’t have a lot of energy, but even when I had it, I just didn’t kind of, I couldn’t get off the couch to make the smoothie. You know, simple things. I couldn’t heat things, I could heat things up, but I couldn’t cook. But now I can make a nice pot of soup or something like that. I still need, you know, support, but it’s not as…

30:23
whisper to these guys anyway thank you everybody for watching sending lots of love peace and aloha from here in beautiful Maui it is truly one of the most beautiful places in the world maybe when we’re done with this maybe we can just do a little
30:43
walk around the property just so you can get a glimpse of the view that I have and the grounds. It’s just lovely. Bye everybody. Aloha.
31:10
Up here, Jason, if you get past this, you really see the West Wet’n’Holly Mountains and even the ocean a little bit. It’s hard, but you can kind of see that. Wow. This is a nice spot.
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