Joan Heartfield – Author, Practitioner “ROMANCING THE BELOVED”

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Jason Schwartz with JOAN HEARTFIELD – Joan shares about her newest book, “Romancing the Beloved”, HER Story. She and her Husband/partner Tomas do individual and group Counseling and Spiritual Sexual Education seminars on Maui. TalkingHearts.com sharing circles and the journey toward personal individual and partner intimacy and physical, emotional and sexual enrichment.5-6-2019

Summary & Transcript Below…

Joan Heartfield on The Neutral Zone with Jason Schwartz

[00:00 → 06:14] Introduction to Joan Heartfield and Heart Intelligence Work

• Joan Heartfield, host Jason Schwartz’s longtime friend and guest, introduces her work alongside her partner Tomas under the banner of Talking Hearts (talkinghearts.com).
• Their core focus is on Heart Intelligence: helping individuals and couples connect deeply with their hearts to communicate authentically, follow their dreams, and express their unique gifts in the world.
•         This work involves peeling back layers of emotional and psychological “onion skins” to remove masks and blocks, addressing feelings of inadequacy often inherited from family or culture, and enabling people to access their authentic selves and personal gifts.
• Joan highlights that everyone has a special gift linked to what brings them joy—whether music, nurturing, or connection with nature—and that true fulfillment comes from expressing this gift openly.
• A significant method used is holotropic breathwork (developed by Stanislav Grof), a depth therapy that moves beyond personality and story to access deep parts of the self, releasing repressed emotions like sadness, anger, or joy through breath. This process allows healing by surfacing and integrating those hidden feelings.
• Groups and one-on-one sessions provide safe, supportive environments where people can share and heal. Word-of-mouth is the primary way people find Joan’s work, which is characterized by a loving, present, and inclusive atmosphere that encourages repeated participation.
• Monthly Heart Intelligence groups meet regularly with different themes such as shadow work, combining deep emotional exploration with fun and community connection.

1. 1. 1. 1. [06:15 → 13:06] Group Dynamics, Safety, and Healing Process

• Joan emphasizes the importance of creating a safe, welcoming space where participants feel accepted and “enough.” This safety encourages vulnerability and authentic expression.
• The experiential nature of the groups allows participants to be witnessed in their truth, fostering healing and celebration of the authentic self.
• The work is accessible to individuals and couples alike, with couples often gaining significant benefits through shared group experiences.
• Joan mentions her openness to working with diverse groups, including governmental or corporate settings, but stresses that participation must be voluntary and invited to be effective.
• She highlights the crucial role of willingness in the healing process—being open and receptive to whatever life or inner growth is presenting. This openness draws in support and insight from unexpected sources, facilitating transformation.

1. 1. 1. 1. [13:07 → 21:48] The Book “Romancing the Beloved” and Life Philosophy

• Joan discusses her book Romancing the Beloved: A Sacred Sexual Adventure into Love, which is both autobiographical and instructional. It shares her journey of expanding love beyond the physical into a sacred, soulful connection.
• The book offers wisdom on cultivating healthy, joyful, and deep relationships, helping readers see new possibilities in love and communication.
• Testimonials highlight the book’s impact on opening hearts and deepening relational understanding.
• Joan reflects on her life philosophy: every person met is a teacher, and every life story holds both pain and promise. The goal is to find the “gold” within life’s challenges—transforming difficulties into wisdom and growth.
• Acceptance and curiosity are central themes for her—letting go of judgment to understand what each experience is here to teach or balance. This attitude creates openness to life’s blessings and deeper connection.

1. 1. 1. 1. [21:49 → 27:28] Embracing Compassion Amidst Prejudice and Fear

• Addressing the broader social climate, Joan acknowledges the prevalence of prejudice and separation but advocates responding with a gentle heart and a smile—leading with love and presence rather than fear or judgment.
• She stresses the power of seeing the divine or loving heart within others, which invites reciprocal acceptance and softens adversarial dynamics.
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• Joan highlights the importance of fostering community, especially on an island like Maui, where mutual care and inclusive communication can help resolve local challenges.
• Fear contracts energy, but opening to abundance and the goodness of the heart invites support and flow from the universe, allowing personal and communal growth.

1. 1. 1. 1. [27:29 → 37:33] Healing Negative Self-Talk and Rewriting Old Stories

• Joan explains that much of the healing work involves identifying and transforming negative internalized messages—often inherited from parents, teachers, or past relationships—that become limiting beliefs like “I’m not good enough.”
• Using roleplay in group settings, participants reimagine what they would have liked to hear from important figures in their lives, replacing old hurtful tapes with compassionate, truthful messages.
• This process shifts the energetic field held in the body and mind, enabling profound transformation that unlocks joy and personal gifts.
• Joan and Tomas model respectful, loving communication in their relationship, which serves as a live example for group participants to learn authentic heartfelt interaction.
• The work is about shifting inside first—changing self-perception and emotional energy—leading naturally to positive changes in external life and relationships.

1. 1. 1. 1. [37:34 → 44:14] Communication, Energy, and Mastery of Self

• Heart Intelligence includes teaching people how to communicate authentically but with grace and openness so that others can receive the message without defense or rejection. For example, asking “Would you be willing to…” invites cooperation respectfully rather than demanding compliance.
• Joan stresses that mastery of self—how we communicate, care for ourselves, and relate to others—is a lifelong process and the key to joy, longevity, and meaningful connection.
• The quality of internal energy directly influences how we experience life and how others respond to us. Feeling genuinely good inside radiates outward and positively affects the environment and relationships.

1. 1. 1. 1. 
         2. [44:15 → 53:24] The Journey of Writing the Book and Its Impact

• Joan shares how Romancing the Beloved was a natural outgrowth of her life experiences and relationship with Tomas, including their long-distance connection and meeting in Ecuador.
• Writing the book was a healing and fulfilling process, involving deep conversations with a higher self or inner wisdom, similar to spiritual dialogues like Conversations with God.
• The book offers a blend of personal story and practical wisdom to help readers connect with deeper parts of themselves and foster supportive, loving relationships.
• Joan also touches on her commitment to helping couples model healthy communication and relationship dynamics, emphasizing that children learn primarily by how parents treat each other, not just how they are treated individually.

1. 1. 1. 1. [53:25 → 55:37] Closing Thoughts and Invitation to Audience

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• Joan encourages people who struggle with communication or relationships to seek support and learn new tools to foster heart-centered connection.
• Joan and Tomas attract people from all over the world, offering both group and intensive private sessions to share their methods and teachings.
• Jason Schwartz expresses gratitude and admiration for Joan’s decades of loving service to the Maui community and beyond, highlighting her as a beacon of gentle presence and heart intelligence.
• The show closes with encouragement to check out Joan’s book and website, and anticipation for future guests and programming that continue to inspire positive growth and connection.

1. 1. 1. Key Insights

• Heart Intelligence is a transformative practice centered on authentic heart connection, healing old emotional wounds, and enhancing communication.
• Safe, welcoming group environments enable deep personal growth and lasting friendships.
• Healing involves rewriting internalized negative messages and shifting energetic patterns to unlock joy and personal gifts.
• Effective communication is both authentic and graceful, inviting cooperation rather than resistance.
• Mastery of self and communication is a lifelong journey essential for joyful, fulfilling relationships.
• Love and acceptance, even in challenging social climates, are powerful tools for healing prejudice and fear.
• Joan’s book Romancing the Beloved offers both autobiographical narrative and practical wisdom for cultivating sacred, soulful relationships.
• The impact of this work extends locally and globally, with an emphasis on community, inclusion, and personal responsibility.

1. 1. 1. Keywords

Heart Intelligence, Holotropic Breathwork, Emotional Healing, Authentic Communication, Shadow Work, Relationship Wisdom, Personal Growth, Self-Mastery, Energy Healing, Safe Spaces, Community Connection, Love and Acceptance, Transformative Therapy, Roleplay Healing, Willingness, Spiritual Dialogue, Maui Community.

1. 1. 1. Recommended Resources

• Joan Heartfield’s website: TalkingHearts.com
• Book: Romancing the Beloved: A Sacred Sexual Adventure into Love
• Holotropic Breathwork by Stanislav Grof
• The Neutral Zone radio show on KAKU 88.5 FM (Maui)

This summary captures the core themes, methods, and philosophies Joan Heartfield shared during the interview, providing a comprehensive understanding of her work and message for listeners seeking heart-centered transformation and connection.

00:00

Aloha everyone my name is Jason Schwartz I’m the host of the neutral zone and today we have a terrific guest I know us Joan I’ve known you as Joan this and Joanie but now for many years you’ve been Joan Heartfield and a very successful happy relationship and I know you’re from years ago but I now I think of you as talking hearts calm which is you and your partner Tomas what do you do what’s the nature what you’re doing these things main things that we’re doing is something called heart intelligence

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which is helping people listen to their hearts be able to communicate from their hearts follow their hearts to their dreams to be able to bring whatever is inside of them into the world in a way that really allows them to feel fulfilled and allows the world to receive their gifts so it’s I’m going to describe it and let me see if I can mm-hmm it’s a personal experience either yourself or with a partner well there’s actually we do it both in groups and we also do it one-to-one and we do it with

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couples so if you’re getting in touch with yourself and you’re peeling away layers of an onion and you have I’m sure I’m I remember from years ago many ways of getting there to the core of you and being able to look at things in a clear light absolutely that is the whole point to be able to remove the blocks to the let’s say masks that we’re wearing you know to end to in all the ways that we feel may be that we don’t feel adequate because there’s a great sense generally

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of inadequacy that you either receive from our parents or the culture or whatever it is and so to be able to move beyond that to the place where we really have everybody has a special gift every single person has a special gift and once we know how to get to that place where we can be authentic with who we are and bring that authentic part of us into the world then the gift that we have with that is blesses everyone around us and that gift can be anything anything that we ourselves find special it’s what

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our personal purpose yes our self-created direction yes it’s what we really love the most is like when we really listen to our hearts and we really listen to the that beautiful voice within us that pops up and and and makes us feel like oh I’d love to do that or oh I’d love to be able to communicate that way or oh that would really bring me joy you know so the things that bring you joy really are your gifts so whether it’s music or whether it’s raising children or whether it’s being with animals or whether it’s

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being with the plants or whether it’s whatever it is in our life that brings us joy that’s the gift that we have to give well I remember years ago I’m just pulling from me years ago when I met you it was 1989 and you were with a different partner in fact he was on our show actually a couple of months ago but you were I got involved when holotropic breathing I guess it was therapy was it polytropic breath work which was developed by stanislav grof i did a three-year training so I’m a

03:36

certified holotropic breathwork er and it’s one of the things that we also do mostly we do it in groups but sometimes we do it privately as well and it is a way of it’s a depth therapy it’s a way of moving beyond the personality beyond our stories and through the breath being able to connect with the deepest part of our being so that we can feel whatever it is that may be holding us back any unexpressed aspects of ourselves whether it’s maybe we’ve held in our sadness or help in our anger or held in our joy you

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know held ourselves in whatever way and the breath work really allows us to move that energy to the surface so that we can feel it because there’s a lot that we repress in our lives you know for many many reasons and so having a safe space to be able to bring up the material that maybe have has been repressed and is holding us back from being able to be all that we are how do people find out about what you’re doing I mean I’ve seen different groups around you know but your group has its own

04:43

character and nature yes and so that how do people find out or how do people work mostly it’s word-of-mouth yeah we have a little bit of presence on Maui vision you know we have our groups in there and stuff but mostly it is the people that we’ve worked with that love what we do and have been helped have been supported in by what we do well it’s been a lot of years but I remember you I always felt very when you were with me they’re doing it very supported and you know I’m I’ve

05:12

gone to all kinds of different directions and you know I have a partner for this is 25 years I’m with Ariel on that extrude I love Ariela – she’s an extraordinary woman she’s that yeah but that’s what I think about you you know I I see that in what you bring to people you really are very present and very loving and and I can see what once people get involved with a group I can see where they want to come back you do this like weekly monthly and we have we have our heart intelligence groups once

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a month on the third Saturday of each month so that’s easy and we have a different theme like this theme for this month will be shadow work so we go DV you’re diving into this shadow but we have different themes every month and they’re always very fun because even shadow work can be fun because once we bring the shadows out to play once we shed light on those parts of ourselves that we may feel not okay about in some way we realize everybody has stuff that you know that they’re holding as I’m

06:14

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hearing when you’re doing this what’s going through my mind is you know I’d be I had an experience a couple years ago with the mankind project man kind of project is men you know men men men men being men wanting to bring into the world other men that have positive values yes and then they have a group they think it’s around cold women within and then I’ve watched people you know try to do integrated groups to some success and trying to get people to be in touch but your seems you know I’m

06:46

trying to kind of identify yours is experiential and talking and obviously a safe place for people to share absolutely yes will we bring people and we create a very safe kids I was gonna say it takes that’s the thing that you are that I don’t see in some of these other groups and groups I’ve me that there is no one that knows how to control certain point some do but I mean you have experience that allows you to lead a group with I felt very comfortable and confident yeah and I I’m

07:25

sure that’s terrific so what a wonderful thing you get to meet new people in your group I’m sure plus you can come with partners or alone absolutely yeah we most people actually well we do have people with partners that come together and they get tremendous value in the group work because the group work also gives us an opportunity to bring ourselves out in front of others and the individual therapy which I do is also very very helpful because then we really get to work very specifically and

07:54

whatever the issues are that a particular person has but there’s something about being witnessed in a very supportive group that really we’re all in the goodness of our hearts I mean that’s the whole thing is that we come into the goodness of our hearts and that’s the place that we stay the whole time that we’re in this work together and so being witnessed in that completely open and accepting way to be accepted and welcomed I think that you know people need to feel welcome they

08:23

need to feel safe they need to feel ah that they’re enough and that they belong you know so that’s what we create is that kind of a an atmosphere and inattention and then from that whatever needs to emerge can and we do all kinds of wonderful healing work with each other and fun work with each other and bring out aspects of ourselves that maybe we wanted to but haven’t been able to before and be witnessed in that and celebrated in that so well you put it in such loving wonderful inclusive

08:58

gentle terms sounds irresistible to me it’s really delightful we have people coming back I mean really we’ve had people with us for years that just love the work and they have grown so much time you’ve just been just it’s beautiful to do it for like government departments the White House to give some sensitivity training to POTUS and company you know anyone that would invite us to come I’m sure we would enjoy being able to support but it does have to be it does have to be people

09:36

that want to do it yeah I was gonna say it’s not the kind of thing you can’t impose it the kind of thing you need to make your reach for it’s an invitation you know there’s an invitation and I think that that’s really what it is is that when we feel invited into authenticity you know then the authenticity I know I mean I know I love to be authentic and I don’t know anybody that doesn’t really want to be authentic but they have to feel in order to be authentic it feels safe you have to feel

10:03

invited you have to feel welcomed and you have to know that whatever you say yeah whatever you say is accepted and no one’s condemning you and giving you a safe place to be able to share it about it that’s you know good stuff yes and I you know we talk about the group thing but personal also I I remember just by you had a really beautiful warm secure presence hey that’s 30 years it can I say that how do you say a long time thank you well you know it’s interesting because the gentlemen that you know we have a

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mutual friend named Ron and I guess he was out there with Groff with you way back when he tells stories about you know it’s so many years ago and when we talk about people that are insightful and loving and caring and supportive he never has anyone in mind except you you had a so sue it you know he is seen and experienced you over the years yeah we people of Maui just know we have so many wonderful resources and Joanne Heartfield and her partner Tomas are a wonderful resource and wonderful people

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and you live in out where I like living a rotten whale wait oh yes I know you know my weight back was 25 years ago I went to a birthday party of Lucy and na who many people know that me and there at the birthday party it was this girl across the way and that’s when we hooked up I was running for mayor at the time I think that’s a funny thing to say is running for mayor but I I think that a lot of the things we could have gone left or right we went left and it’s not too late but it’s gonna take the getting

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in touch with our own heart and finding out where is our joy I think yes and doing that yes but doing it in an inclusive way in our island I don’t think we should be having these problems we’re having well I think there’s always there’s the light of the dark exists everywhere so you know in order to to let’s say become strong you have to lift weights so in order to really get clear about who you are and what you want there have to be some challenges in our lives in order to be able to come up

12:31

against something in order to prove and it’s really only to myself you know I want to prove to myself Who I am not to anybody else but you know knowing that I can do that and knowing that the challenges in my life have helped me do that helps me support other people who are having challenges and realize what’s the gift and the challenge we all hear that don’t we that challenges should become our gift and that we should be learning for this so we are actions and our responses come from greater wisdom through through

13:06

experience absolutely absolutely I keep staring at this book in this book called romancing the beloved please tell us about I know how long has it been a little bit but it’s it’s a terrific book q thank you how would you describe the book well it’s a the under title here is a sacred sexual adventure into love her story and so this is my story about how I expanded into a different kind of love which was really recognizing the divine in another and having that be what brought us together rather than only the

13:47

sexual part of the experience but really the heart and soul and spirit and all of it coming together at the same time so it’s a personal story that actually goes through and shares what this is but all the things that I learned along the way so it’s it’s just infused with all kinds of wonderful tidbits of wisdom and knowledge of how to have a really healthy good loving delightful incredibly to enhance and and deepen their relationships well I can tell you the people that have read it I have so

14:27

many quotes from people that he really has changed their lives and and has given them has opened their eyes shall we say open their eyes to what’s possible and I think that’s one of the things that both Tomas my husband and I do and that is help people open their eyes to what’s possible in relationship because and tell you sometimes until you see it you don’t believe it and so you know we help people see each other in different ways communicate with each other in ways that work and also be able to see through the

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personality into the heart and soul of each other into the really sacred being that we each are you guys get that I’m here with Joan Heartfield now we are here discussing many things but I don’t want to forget to again say Romancing the beloved your your book so what are we calling an autobiography but it’s really more than it’s really more than that it’s really telling my story but in telling my story being able to present what I learned right so that other people can also receive that learning

15:32

and teaching and apply it to their lives very available very personal and it’s a really fun read everybody I had in fact a woman not too long ago that said texted me in the middle of the night she said I can’t put your book down but you know and I can only say I’m sure that in it what comes through is you and that’s very joyous positive productive encouraging you know Joan can we say yeah well I’ve had many wonderful teachers along the way and everybody that I meet is actually my teacher you

16:09

know because I know that all of the wisdom that we exchange whether it’s verbal or nonverbal you know everybody has a story and all of our stories aren’t important and so when I sit down with a person and I listen to their story and I listen to the pain and their story as well as the promise of their story you know that’s what I what I want to get to is where’s the gold in this in this you know looking like mud kind of stuff but you know we all go through the mud but we want to get the gold out of

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it we want to be able to receive the wisdom from these challenges that we have in our lives and I know that that’s possible with anybody who wants to do it well you the want to do it part yeah do you work with I’m sure you work with all kinds of ethnic groups have you done any kind of group things locally and that I mean I keep thinking that there needs to be into some of the systems I don’t know what other things are out there very long time ago we worked with family systems and some some prisoners and some

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people that you know we’re in let’s say the system you know but right now I don’t but I’m certainly well I’m certainly willing you know I’m willing I really I love willing because willingness is something that’s so important to be able to take the next step if we’re even if we’ve kind of stuck and we don’t know what to do I know if all I have to do is throw my hands up in the air like Caroline Casey taught me to do and say I’m willing I’m willing to go through this I’m willing

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to get this I’m willing to understand this at a deeper level I’m willing to really get the gold out of this and then as soon as they do that willingness you know then energy comes in to support me and and information comes or somebody will come and tell me something or I’ll open a book and it will be exactly what I need to hear so the willingness that we have to participate with the universe and participate with our souls growth because I think that you know my experience is is that I’m here not only

18:15

not only to enjoy life and and to awaken to life but also to really participate fully in life you know and to and to allow to have come toward me oh by the way the root of adventure is to go toward that which is coming toward you so when we find something coming toward us to go to Ward it with willingness and see what it has to offer us well so when you see something coming toward you you try not to judge it positive or negative you say let me jump in hell let me just find out what this is it’s

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coming toward me for some reason whether it’s an experience or whether it’s a person or whether it’s an opportunity Wow Wow when you have these these group things do you find that people literally look I’m sure there is some a curve or I guess it takes does it take a while for people to be comfortable is it it’s it you know it depends I mean usually we have people we always have people in the group who have been there before so there’s already a heart space let’s say a beautiful heart

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space that is simply there in the group from people who have been there before so new people coming in are already coming into a beautiful space that’s been created and of course Tomas and I create so much safety in the group and also we have agreements to create safety that creates safety with many ways to create safety so it takes a little while for everybody to really drop in but not that long you know I’m pretty soon you know after we kind of explain what we’re doing and get going man it’s just like

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the group takes off and wonderful things happen in the group that are just literally transformative and fun and growth ‘fl and deep and profound and mystical and everything and I’m sure that it also sets a foundation for some long-term friendships out of this group oh absolutely many people that have have created relationships long-term friendships I mean you know friends forever kind of thing Wow but must excuse me here I don’t know why our music didn’t work earlier and I’m

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not sure what will happen when I get to the commercial time well what’s the most important things that you feel you want to be sharing with an audience I mean you have so much experience and yet you looking at it a world I look out at the camera yeah you know I see all kinds of faces and all kinds of different temperaments that’s a good first step oh that’s a beautiful question by the way and you know I think for me acceptance is a big one you know really knowing that everything is here for a

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reason you know that there’s nothing out of place and so what that has helped me do is let go of judgment you know and when I let go of judgment and I really try to understand a person or a situation or an experience and what is it here for what is it here to to ultimately you know what is here to balance or what is it here to teach us you know then I’m in an open space of curiosity and I think that being in a place of curiosity and openness and acceptance allows me to receive the the blessings and the benefits of whatever

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is in my space at any particular time well you know I I am always thinking you know when I’m come out into the world we have an audience out here we don’t know who’s listening we go all over the world that’s wishful thinking here that we’re being heard all over the world and there you know and there’s all kinds of people and you can’t help but when you hear in the news just things seem to be coming from an ugly place and seems to be the thing that that media has it finds it

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easier to write a story about an ugly thing yeah then a beautiful thing art sometimes in recent days one of our friends I’m just looking like my eyes 23 or 28 okay we’re good well we’re here on kak you 88.5 FM on Jason Schwartz with Joan Heartfield we are what I was just saying probably just left my mind oh it was about it was about you know when you look out at the world and when you see the things that are happening on television say and it’s like somehow like you say being accepting and open mmm-hmm but um I you

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know I’ve heard so much about prejudice here you know a lot of people share prejudice and separation but I’ll lead with a smile or a soft and gentle heart yes hey you know I have my presence I try to lead with as an example yes exactly that to try to make it for someone who might have looked at me and wanted to think they might be my adversary just don’t feel that yeah exactly what I find is is that when I look at a person if when I look behind let’s say their personality and I really see I just call it the

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divine but you know the the truth the heart of who they are the the love in their heart when I look for the love in their heart and that’s what I look for and I see then they’re much more likely to look at me in the same way if I look at them with like oh that person is a narrow Bible look at them with with with non acceptance then they’re going to project to me non acceptance so I find that whatever I lead with I’m much more likely to receive that in return okay well I think I think that’s why I

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decided you were a great guest to have here in this world that is so combative you have such a gentle loving and lighting presents and you are like I said your friend Ron and my friend Ron knows you for many years and know how you’ve been a giving loving part of Maui for so long and I like to celebrate good people and you’re good people thank you so much Jason well so are you obviously and I’m so grateful that you’re doing this show so that you can bring people on and you can present another side of

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the news yeah even on subjects that are difficult I try to you know reframe it and put into perspective what like you say what is this challenge how can we work from this from a challenge and turn it into something positive we can build from and grow from so like all the things we’ll talk about when we come back but all the things that are happening on our island where we have difficulty oftentimes I feel once we get to learn and know and care about each other those problems are good go away

25:16

that’s right the people that have the resources will come forward because their heart speaks to them and shows them their their responsibility to their community that they feel yes because they’re open like you say because they’re open to being accepting and inviting and we’re on an island we better do that you know you can’t take our problems that brought them into the ocean we have to kind of look at each other and find solutions and I’m hoping the state that’s what

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this is to me a ground of neutral yeah so whoever doesn’t agree let’s find out who each other are and what’s going on so that we can find something to serve everybody yeah let’s let’s let’s communicate and commune rather than debate right i am i was in my finger yesterday i was thinking about we want to embrace people not replace them we’re looking to turn them into you know or have robotics come and make it less personal we want everything to be more personal more involving with each other

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as i you know there’s always abundance I find there’s always abundance it’s just a matter of isn’t being hoarded someone in fear someone and a challenge that they don’t think that there is more it always is more yeah that’s a really important point the whole thing of fear because if we’re in fear were contracted and as soon as we start to relax and realize oh you know we can actually be in the goodness of our heart and we can actually open to the to the abundance of the universe you know and and that’s

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what I find is when I open the abundance of the universe pours in whereas if I’m closed it doesn’t have a place to go well we’re gonna have a place to go right now we’re gonna go to hear from a sponsor or two of this station and then we’re going to come back with John Heartfield up Jason Schwartz here at the neutral zone see in a minute the 50s the 60s the 70s hi this is Steve summers welcoming you aboard the oldies time machine right here on kha you enjoy special features like the diner tune the

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a.m. and replayed Saturday at 7 a.m. on ka you 88.5 FM your voice of Maui phony smarts for the 50-plus a workshop presented by al Kaku Maori community media and AARP come learn some of the basic features of your smartphone ways to stay connected to family friends and your communities join us June 4th for two sessions 10:00 a.m. to noon for iPhone 1 p.m. to 3 p.m. for Android and bring your device only five dollars space is limited hakufu eighty seven one five five five four to get the link to register hi I’m

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Jason Schwartz host of the neutral zone KNK you is a listener-supported station this means that all the great programs you hear like mine are sponsored by you as well as our underwriters if you would like to help keep the voice of Maui looking loud and clear go to kak UF m dot org slash donate today and give and don’t miss the neutral zone Mondays at 11:00 a.m. on 88.5 FM a voice of valley [Music] well well well looks like we’re back I’m Jason Schwartz here at the neutral zone it’s Monday you know you can find this

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show and all the shows at Maui neutral zone calm and up at Facebook live and kak you on Facebook and we’re on Saturdays in the morning at 7:00 a.m. so you can find this and the other shows we always think this is my thinking that you know this radio station is not funded by the television station and so we want and so a lot of people don’t know about us so a lot of these shows are gonna be I’m making sure they’re on the television station to drive people back to here and the radio station to

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hear some of these wonderful guests so I am I want to say building a library and part of that library is to deliver good content you know they say why when you make a webpage do things on your webpage that make people want to come back to your webpage again and again and again so one of the things that people will come back is we have guests like Joan like we were talking it’ll be nice and I’m talking a little up top here some of these areas need a little bit more explanation an example of some of the

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growth that can happen and I’d like you to give us some examples and and some of your experience from this beautiful thank you Jason yes well we were talking about how let’s say the depth work really allows a person to shift sometimes some very deep negative thinking and particularly negative self-talk because it’s often the things we say to ourselves over and over again that perhaps were said to us by parents on you know unknowing let unknowingly it’s not like they were trying to hurt

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us but maybe that’s the way their parents talked to them and again passed down it might have been a teacher that said something really mean or a classmate or other another person or an ex-partner or people in your life that you have that that we’re supposed quote/unquote supposed to love you and care for you and yet perhaps did some things that really deeply hurt you and those those things that were said then become internalized and become then the things that you hear that you’re not

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good enough that something’s wrong with you that whatever it was that somebody said and those are the things that stopped us from getting our gifts we kind of closed down and we shut down and we get very tight inside of ourselves so in the groups that we do another therapy that I do and my husband does what we do is we start to reverse some of those tapes those old tapes that are in our head and we start to go well what would happen if instead of your mother or father teachers saying this what would

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you have liked them to have said and often you know we already know because we just know we know what would have been a kinder thing to say what would have been an actually more honest thing to say and so we actually roleplay we are actually in our groups we roleplay and so I might choose you Jason would you be my dad and instead of saying this to me would you say this to me and then of course you just know the things to say because you know ultimately what a good father would say to a daughter or you

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know of a mother to a son or all of the different ways that we can really redo and replace some of the old tapes with new ones and even though this sounds simplistic it is amazingly supportive and life-changing for people because sometimes being in an altered state which we are kind of when we’re in a group with other people and in this kind of work to hear the kind of messages that you so wished your dad or your mother or your teacher your sister your brother or your ex ex would have said to

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you actually shifts the the electromagnetic field that we’re carrying because we carry this not only in our memory but we carry it in our in the energetic body that we have and so once we shift the energy then other things can shift in our life as well because any way that we are unconsciously carrying out that message in our life let’s say not good enough once we begin to feel good enough then all the things that we really want to do in life and we want to be able to bring to life suddenly become more

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available to us because our energy is freedom right that’s right that’s a really good thing of that and reminds me of a quote you know when the student is ready the teacher will come as it huh say say so you’ve got to be ready to get into and you can’t go from here to here it’s a process and this process is like we say I’m peeling of an onion and taking a look and exploring it in a way that really gets personal right I you know I’m I’m trying to make this in my own mind available to all kinds of

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people but some people you know think oh that’s so distant from there I want to say nine-to-five normal life and the way they deal with other people and their relationships are really solid and have a different kind of a flavor in them but you’re good modeling that’s another thing going on in the group here good modeling for others to see and experience and take back into their other if you want to call it underworld absolutely and even the way that Tomas and I relate to each other because

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there’s so much respect and caring and love that we also model and not just one or the group I mean anybody that’s around us at any time you know that comes over or this or that will see us interacting in a particular kind of way and we also support people and teach them to do that in a group so they can actually practice it so in the group you can practice well what would another kind of communication if if I were to go back and I were to communicate with somebody in my past in a way that actually was more honest for

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me but also more loving more heartfelt what would I say or what might I say to a future partner that might come in or how could I invite somebody into my life in a way that they would want to come in so that heartfelt communication is huge and not you know there’s not a lot of how did you find a partner with a name like Heartfield perfect you know these things come to us don’t they everything in my life I feel has come to me you know it’s like so much and it really has to come from the energetic that I carry

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inside myself so a lot of the work we do is really about supporting people and how to change their own energy because it’s the energetic that we live with every day that we that goes out into the world because we are energy beings and so that energy goes out into the world and so if I’m carrying around a kind of mudroom kind of a feeling then I probably could not have great experiences in my life because people are going to be interacting with me as that however if I’m feeling good insight

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genuinely not just pretend but genuinely feeling good then I’m bringing that into the world and that quality of energy affects everybody around me so that’s what we share with people and teach people is how to shift the energy inside themselves what is it that’s holding them back from really really feeling the joy inside themselves you know and whether it’s the old stories that they’re telling themselves whether it’s there you know self-talk whether it’s whatever it is and it’s always insight it’s an

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inside job it’s always an inside job it isn’t about changing the outside it’s about changing ourselves and then once we are able to do that everything outside chefs everything you guys ready for a shift some of you already know this stuff but I like bringing people on that have heart and direction toward giving our world a chance you know I really a practitioner I want to say a practitioner a person like you and all the love that you give and all the teaching and training and nurturing to people is what I’m hoping

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our audience really can take away is to get in touch with you for sure you know talking hearts calm right not org I thought diamonds calm I’ll wear the maui arts and music calm because people think calm they don’t think org as much it’s very funny so that’s what I find but I do find that the work you’re doing is the giant blessing to people and we know I when I said I was gonna be on with Joan a lot of people lit up and all have just nothing but good things to say about you so you’ve created a beautiful

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Maui life here there are definitely regions of Maui I mean I I keep thinking that there are some people that just need to be exposed to this that’s why I asked about government you know and you say you have to be invited in my brother on the mainland there ran has started and ran on a school for called new roads in Los Angeles and then after he just retired he was consulting for a a dot-com company one of his students there in the school now has this big company and so they go in and they do

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weekly I want to say circles if you will in corporations yeah so that’s why I was talking about that earlier you’re thinking that well giving exposure to people to another way of approaching things and I would really be very helpful in government heart intelligence is a really good thing to have wherever you are in your home with your partner in you know with your job you know in your organization heart intelligence absolutely it is a way of being able to communicate it authentically but also with grace and

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ease because I think that the more that we have the ability to communicate what’s authentic in us but in a way that the other person can receive you know cuz I can say well this is what I think you know and say it like this is my artist truth but if I say it in a way that you can’t receive it you’re gonna shut me out and that truth is not going to be heard so I teach people we teach people my husband and I Tomas and I teach people how to be able to communicate in a way that is not only

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authentic but also is graceful so the other person can receive the information because usually we want to communicate because maybe there’s a change we want to you know see happen or there’s some piece of information that would really like the other person to receive and if we don’t communicate it in a way they can get it they won’t yeah I mean I think that’s well you know what always keeps for when I’m talking to you what’s flowing into my mind I guess because he is so present in our world I am just

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amazed to see our president and you know it I keep thinking he needs a little bit of sensitivity training something every day just consistently makes a left instead of a right you know you know I I just kind of go right past it I just keep sending him love I really do I just keep sending him love because I figure that he needs that more than criticism right now and if you can just like see him in the light and see him doing what’s best I always thinking will be an example to him that maybe he’ll look out or

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his people will look at and see that there are other ways that are more I don’t know interactive friendlier he’s well let me actually let me give you an example because I think it’s it’s really helpful to know even just one little way that when you’re talking to somebody and maybe you want them to do something rather than you know demanding it or you know even say would would you would you please do this I love the words would you be willing you know would you be willing to walk our little dog pono

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today because I need to leave early would you be willing to you know take the trash out tonight would you be willing to whatever it is and that just that place of an of will of just asking for willingness is something that is respectful and I think that that’s one of the things that’s so important you know and so I like to be respectful of everybody even the people that I may have a different opinion of I like to talk about them respectfully I like to interact with them respectfully because

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that’s much more likely to get their attention than any other way I’m with you yeah I don’t know if I always do it quite as much as I know how to do it no but you know I don’t know I that’s a it’s masterful its master stuff okay we’ll see this is it I think this is really the key and that that I at least this is my deal is that I feel like that’s what I’ve come into the world to do is to master myself you know I’ve mastered a few other things in the mood I’m in the process of mastering

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myself but the mastery of self is really the big deal and so if I can master the way I communicate if I can master the way that I interact with others if I can master the way that I care from my body so that I’m you know really taking good care of myself and all of ladies 104 oh no I mean you know I mean I can’t even say 30 years right because you look 30 now well I chewed you know this is a huge part of it it really is is the quoi again quality of energy the quality of energy that I’m cultivating in myself

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and that I’m supporting others around me to cultivate is the key to ageless and let’s say or anything just joy having joy in our lives and you found something that you like and you’re doing and it brings nothing but goodness in you yeah exactly the more that I can support others and the happier I am do you this may seem like I’m jumping to another sudden right okay um when you wrote this book did you you writing it you know with uh we’re just starting as a a biography of you

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and then you put in the things or the actually the book we’re man Singh the beloved begged to be written it kept cut all of these things that I had experienced in my life that were so valuable kept coming in and it just it wanted to be written it wasn’t like I said oh I need to write a book what shall the title be it was this book is going to be written and so I sat down and I just began and it wrote itself right say so Andy lots of help with lots of help with editing by the way always always you know I’m I’m in Maui college

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and I have I’m taking editing now and it is an amazing truth that that you can have a lot of film and video and words but now putting them together in a way that tells a story in a way that communicates yes that’s a lot of that’s really another level of work that’s another level of work but the the kind of the let’s just say the big influence for this book I’m asking the beloved was when I had met Tomas but we were separate separated by he was in Michigan and I was in Maui and so I put this

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incredible energy that we had connect that had connected through us and through meeting in the jungles of Ecuador that’s part of in the book was you know was coming up but the romance on the stone is it sort of like that is he it has the beloved it’s for those of the do you can’t see it’s romancing the beloved what’s on the cover a sacred sexual adventure into love it’s a beautiful beautiful the beautiful governor that you know it sounds like the experience of writing it excuse me

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the experience of writing it was very fulfilling for you it was and the beloved so what I got to feel is is that the beloved is not only personal but it’s transpersonal because when I couldn’t speak with Tomas because he was you know very long ways away I began to write and I just began to write my feelings and like writing to the beloved and it began writing back to me but he began writing back to me in a way that really answered the questions that I had the deep deep questions that I had so

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kind of like Donald Neil dois Walsh’s book you know the conversations with God it was very much like that in that I began to have these wonderful conversations with this deeper more expanded more knowledgeable part of myself that was extremely supportive and helpful and nurturing at a time when I was very confused so that’s part of it too is really helping people know how do you how do you do that how do you connect with parts of yourself that may be just a little deeper than what you’re able to get in

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touch with and actually have that support you and help you through times of crisis and challenge so let me see if I can describe what I’m hearing the book to be yeah a personal autobiography that relates you over time but also involves different experiences and your navigation through things and your growth through them and but it’s in a very personal way so that people that know you are as they will read it they will get to know you more and more and really go down a lot of the journey it’s

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sort of like a mini therapy and I’m going to call it you’re walking people through the process as you journeyed in it yes yes and in a really fun way to be able to read so that you’re not bored yeah that’s really good no I mean I’m I’m really happy to hear that you have a book thank you thank you what I really love is that I had some really wonderful people had really good things to say about it and Christiane Northrup who’s a friend of ours said Romancing the beloved is an enchanting true story of

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what is possible in love in relationships in life read it and let the healing message heal your heart that’s a nice thing to say yeah yeah well you know I I I must have read it on your website you know some of the the young things people have said very loving and supportive and they yeah they all have seen just how deeply that you and Tomas have touched them mm-hmm thank you you know super good work you know I really appreciate you know I mean I’m not always a greatest example of the most balance I try to be my you never

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know but uh it’s a constant process you never stops I’m always balancing but I am really a very thankful that you’ve been doing this work all these years do you get people coming from off island – we do we do we get people coming from all over the world we just had somebody here from the Netherlands you know so we have people coming from all over the world and some people come and they do it intensive with us they’ll stay in the neighborhood and do an intensive with us for a week or two and

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other people will come in just for a session but now we we have a broad expanse and of course the groups are the most you know that the easiest way the less expensive way to to connect but we love working with people and we love being able to share and pass on particularly the things that have worked for us personally and in relationship because it really is about if I can give you something that can support you in your life and make your life more wonderful and give you a tool that can help you after you lead the session

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right that’s what I that’s the modelling I’m talking about yeah you know I I I know that that is probably one of the things that I think may be the most valuable for people that are coming that you know haven’t yet gotten it right to see food like you say you and Tomas communicating Mariana I do that people said to me you’re like an old married couple I think they say that in a good way oh yeah and that we’re very thoughtful and caring and hopefully you know and uh I’ve been in any different groups and

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I’ve never been in a group I want to say co-ed a couples group ah years ago this dates me yeah Charles and Caroline were having Charles and Caroline Muir hmm I guess you’re good friends obviously yes with Caroline specifically yeah and there was this weekend then I have really been in groups with couples before I don’t know if that’s actually true but I mean I felt really important about the the realization of how couples need examples of seeing others that do it they it really is a very helpful

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thing it really is it really is because if we didn’t have good models from our parents if our parents by the way this is a really important thing to say to parents out there and that is is that the most important thing that your child will receive from you is not how you treat them it’s how you treat each other and so that’s really the deepest learning they watch you they listen to you they hear how do you speak to each other that’s what they learn from so you know in addition to of course treating

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your child with as much love and care treat each other and that’s in the way that you would like your child ultimately to treat their to treat you and also to treat whoever it is that they’re worried yeah we see that we hear about that all the time that the people in the household are modeling for their kids and so if it’s not positive it’s really not helping your your kids toward their future plus it’s not more it’s not fun it’s like you know and if you and by the way if you need help get it there’s

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all kinds of help everywhere so you know don’t just know that if you don’t know how to communicate in a way that really is from the heart and is successful then find it you know find people that can share that with you well you know here we are we’ve we’ve got a couple of minutes left we went all over the map here but we were all in the same region because your your website name says it all talking hearts come walking from the heart yes really coming from that loving place thank you

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for all the good work and thanks for being a wonderful person all these years and you have such a good nice reputation with all the people I know and it’s well deserved thank you Jason it’s lovely being here and speaking with you again thank you well you out there I would say that if you haven’t read Romancing the beloved I’m one of them I’m gonna get a book I bet it’s available on Amazon and all that kind of stuff right well so I’m gonna show you guys are gonna see it up

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on the website I know very beautiful so you know we do these shows and we know that after the fact you may go back into our website and find all kinds of people and when you go back there make sure that you listen to this show again because you know Joan Heartfield is a great gift to our audience and our world thank you for being here with me I very much appreciate you coming and be a part of what we’re trying to put out here at the neutral zone thank you Jason thank you so we got a minute left you guys

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should know that next week we have a team okay oh you may know him he’s the canoe guy he’s helping the kids so he’ll be here and we’ll see if we may be recording shows at different hours and then put them on in the timeslot here I’ve been going to Maui Community College and there may be a summer work opportunity that kind of runs through and makes me record these at different times we’ll see Joan thank you for being here with us thank you guys for being here with us at the neutral zone we will

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see you next week same time or you can find us again up on the web it’s always a pleasure to be here with you let’s see if I can get the sound to work this time I think we probably can let’s try it right now ready that is that wise [Music]